More on "Hurt" by Chap Clark

I haven't decided yet if a good way to start the day is by reading "Hurt" by Chap Clark. Some of my best reading and comprehension time is in the morning because I'm not awake enough to be distracted. (Does that even make sense?) It has become a little harder reading this book because of the compassion and love I have for the age range, high school, he is talking about. The distressing facts he discovered, the poetry the students gave him, and the idea there are dark recesses in each and every life I work with makes me want to put the book down and let the sense of hopelessness wash over me.

I do understand, however, that this is the way books are written. The problem is posed. The weight of the situation pointed out again and again until I reach the last third of the book where small glimpses of hope are brought into focus. Since I am only just beginning part 2 I have yet to see any trace of this hope, but nonetheless I am still hopeful.

Here are a few things I read in the past chapter that stood out to me:

Clark is explaining about the multiple "selves" that midadolescence have in order to survive daily life.

"The necessity for multiple selves, a far more complex developmental requirement that for any previous generation, causes midadolescents to seem almost schizophrenic to an adult who can see life only through a lens of a single (or dominant) self who plays many different roles....I became convinced that the defining development characteristic of midadolescence, then, is the ability to draw on abstract and complex processes of thinking and logic within each layer. Interestingly enough, however, midadolescents are not yet able to integrate such thinking across the many layers in which they live."

To me, this is very interesting, especially when I deal with parents. I can't tell you how many times I have heard about or seen a student act one way in a certain situation and then turn right around and act or say something completely opposite. Parents are always telling me this. "They are wonderful at home but when they go off with their friends they are someone completely different."
This has huge implications in youth ministry. If students only come to church and put on their "church self" then leave only to take that "self" off and put it aside until they walk through the doors of the church again...that bothers me...a lot! Isn't it my job to get youth to apply Godly principles in their daily lives? Aren't I supposed to help students make good choices by giving them the ultimate reference point on which to make said decisions? Logic and complex thinking are capable, as Clark said, but getting them to apply that thinking to another area of their life....that is the challenge. And what a challenge it is.

Something just made sense to me. I try, as the extrovert that I am, to get out of the church as much as I can in order to "be seen" in the lives of youth at their sporting events, concerts, and general daily life. Every time, without fail, I get the question "what are you doing here?" And in that moment I see a clashing of worlds happen. I realize what I am seeing is the confusion and decision process of "who am I going to be now that Dain is here?" happening right in front of me. It is a strange sight and one I love to see because it is throwing church, God and Jesus into a mix when they were most likely not even there in the first place.

Imagine if that happened all the time and division of midadolescent worlds became foggy and uncertain. Imagine if students were forced to walk in more than one, even three of four of their identities at one time! It would blow their minds, but it would also let them know it is possible. I have no doubt that the dominant persona will win out and that will most likely not be the church person, but what if it was? It is possible.

Thanks Chap Clark for a good chapter.

dain